Does it Matter? – Why fear can be the source of our most courageous decisions
Fear – it all began with fear. These constant doubts in the back of my mind. The nagging questions that I struggled to answer. And this flood of emotions that overcame me in regular flashes.
Fear, it is this universal feeling, essential to all of us and yet rarely ever discussed. Widely suppressed, it has remained a major taboo in our society. This is why I want to share my personal story of fear. The story of how fear made me quit my job and start the fashion label brave little mockingbird instead.
Admittedly, I hesitated quite a bit before publishing this post. I asked myself: “Is this really the way to start a blog? To engage people with a fashion brand?” And more significantly: “Will anyone care?”
Honestly I do not know. But if I do not give it a chance I will never know. So I asked myself another question instead. The one question that has become the compass of my journey:
“ Does it matter?
– to me? ”
So, what is it that matters about fashion? About this industry of fast-moving trends and perfect looks ? About businesses that sell us attractive shells – the illusion of identity – to hide our true selves behind? Well, to be honest – nothing!
What I believe matter are the stories that we tell through how we dress. That is why I want to create fashion that matters. Fashion that does not just sell you a style, but rather inspires you to explore your own. Designs to express the inner beauty of your uniqueness. Brave little mockingbird as a voice for you to tell the story that matters – your story. I know this is a lot to aim for. But this is what matters – to me.
Brave little mockingbird is not my first startup venture and like many before, I have started it as a side project. In the beginning it felt safe to work on these projects next to my job, since there is little shame in failing on a side project. But in the end, it was exactly the same safety that would kill them slowly. For the simple truth is that we will not fail in the dreams we never pursue, but more importantly, we will never give ourselves the chance to succeed in them either.
After seeing several of my former projects die in this way, I began to feel trapped. Sure, I had enjoyed my studies and appreciated the jobs that I had worked in. They were all important learning opportunities, but in the end I knew they would not fulfill me for the rest of my life. What I truly cared for were the projects I dreamed about in my spare time. With growing doubts I saw myself wasting time on things that did not really matter – to me.
In the beginning I managed to push my concerns aside, convincing myself that these were just negative thoughts. Reassuring myself, that it was ok to move slowly- but eventually I could not ignore the fact anymore that brave little mockingbird was doomed to the same fate as my former projects.
“It is one of life’s most existential realizations when you suddenly understand that life is not forever. “
In your youth it feels like there is infinite time to pursue all the things you ever wanted. But one day you wake up realizing that your time on this planet is limited. It is a fear so deep that it takes you the air to breathe.
I felt like I was drowning, sinking groundlessly into the void, until I touched something. I had reached the bottom of my fear. Up to this point I had always experienced fear as a paralyzing force, holding me back in life. Never had I expected to find anything but emptiness at its bottom.
Down there at the bottom is where fear revealed its other side to me.
”For at its core fear is a force of change.”
Painfully capturing the soul it burns everything, leaving behind only the essential. It sharpens our perception for the things that matter, profoundly empowering us to move on. In my case I found the courage to realize that the time to do the things that matter, to do the things I always dreamed of – is now.
Does that mean that I have overcome my fear, that I worry less? No, it does not! What has changed is how I worry. I have begun to find inspiration in my fear. I allow it to captivate me, guiding my discovery of new paths. I have accepted that I will always worry about how others judge me, but at the same time I have understood that this cannot prevent me from doing what matters – to me.
So this is where it begins, the journey of the brave little mockingbird. I have started this endeavor on my own, but it scares me to be alone. It is this fear that brings me here – to you.
I care for what you have to say. I love to hear any insight that you have, any opinion that you hold and any idea that pops into your head. Let me know what you like and what you do not. And above all share with me the stories that matter to you even if their link to this journey is not evident yet. For it is you who might make the difference, your story has the power to transform this project into a journey that matters – to us.
“It is your story that matters and it is the courage to share it that makes the difference – you brave little mockingbird.”